State Of The Blog 2012

"A hushed silence has come over the assembled crowd, as the Emperor Dungy makes his way through the rank and file of the Army and Guard delegates. And I've gotta say, Ted, we couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day. Don't you agree?"

"Oh, absolutely, Dan. The clouds over our capital are, of course, a perpetual jet black, but they've been uncharacteristically dry today, and many are interpreting that as a good omen."

"Mmhmm. During our coverage of this morning's traditional Emperor's Day Expulsion of the Albinos from the Holy City, the examined entrails of the final victim were said to be the cleanest seen in many years."

"Yup. As the Emperor makes his way up the Stairs of Mourning, the delegation from the Senate can be seen nominating a leader by lot to give the Invocation today."

"Chuck, can you go back to camera two? Yeah, as the Emperor comes into frame, just look at the detail on what he's wearing."

"Gorgeous. In keeping with tradition, the Emperor is wearing the Mantle of the Annointed for today's speech."

"Yeah, and it's rare to see it up close. It's kept under lock and key all year long, but today, through the miracle of broadcast, we can bring it to you, the viewer."

"Take a look at the elaborate decoration, Dan. Originally a large burlap sack used to dispatch the last remnants of the old political system, the mantle has received an ever increasing number of alterations and new ostentation. Today, we can see emeralds, rubies, and of course, many diamonds and gold inlays."

"That and the holes, of course."

"Of course, the fifty-seven holes, through which the fifty-seven traitors received the ultimate justice. Ah, the Emperor has completed his climb, and the representative of the Senate approaches the Imperial Dais to give the Invocation..."

"Salutations. Today, my peers have granted me the... The privilege of delivering to the people the Holy Invocation of our Beloved Leader...

In the name of our ancestors, may my blood be upon you. In the name of the motherland, may my blood keep and preserve you. And... Oh, God... May the blood of my children... keep and preserve... our most Beloved Emperor Dunglemagne the First. For a thousand year reign!"

"And he's off! The guards are exiting to pursue, and what a runner they've chosen this year, Ted. In keeping with tradition, the Emperor has pledged to open the granaries to all if he's butchered before reaching the city walls. His Grace approaches the Dais..."

Comrades. It is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the next rainy season! And remember, a shiny new donkey for whomever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya...

What? Oh yes, by that, I of course mean that it's time for this year's State Of The Blog...

It's been a little over a year since my good friend, friend-of-the-blog-John-Stegeman started his own writing project, thereby encouraging me to write, as a means to bludgeon him and inflate my own ego. Er, I mean "Express myself". And it has been a good year. We've covered a lot of ground, yelled a lot of words, and done a lot of stuff on things.

But we must keep going, ever upward. That's why I'm announcing Dungy-Blog 2012's 12 month plan! For a more prosperous blogging future.

First initiative: More Contributors
Our mutual acquaitance, Matt Kilmer started his own blog last year and is contributing more and more frequently. Three blogs starting in a year is a fair amount of progress, but we must expand. More voices. Well, more worthy voices. I propose we do whatever it takes to make this Triumvirate into a Tetrarchy by the end of this year.

I ask this, not to enhance our prestige with more attention, but to enhance the conversation with more points-of-view. I would like to see a Christian (maybe a protestant to balance things out), but I'd settle for anyone with an interesting voice and the will to contribute.

Also: Try to be less of a jerk
I'm beginning to believe that sometimes I cross a line of smarminess in my pursuit of John The Catholic. I believe that my points are usually valid (or validish), and my motives are generally good, and I certainly don't think I'm being too venomous. But, there may be times where I'm greatly motivated by being a combative contrarian. And that's not healthy.

I should be motivated by trying to express the truth (or at least just my point on a subject), but I do get a kick out of just trying to "win", and too often I'm doing it "for the kicks". I've found it to be usually true that one should never base one's identity on a negative. That is, don't define yourself by what you're "against". The Constitution doesn't describe the government of the US in terms of opposition to Facism or Communism. Instead it describes the system on it's own terms. So be it with this blog. I'll still write "Against [blank]" blogs, but I want to try to write a few more "For [blank]" blogs. That would be a step in the right direction.

Better Writing Style
Last year's "Breaking My Friend, John" was my first experience writing something that felt totally fleshed out and clean. I didn't write recreationally much before then (there were a few blogs from 2009 as a kind of first attempt, a fledgling killer's first effort at transformation), and it was the first time it felt really good to write. Writing that one was easy, because I had a lot of pent up creative energy that was ready to come out. But as it went on, that fire burned a little less brightly. I'm putting up a lot of energy to keep a steady stream of ideas coming out of here, and I've reached a pretty stable level, now.

My problem is that I'm not putting the same effort into quality. I'm usually publishing my first draft, and I often don't review or tweak it before publishing. I should be able to point to progress in this area. So, for 2012 I want to put a renewed emphasis on writing that is thoughtful, but also well written. The late Christopher Hitchens was a joy to read, no matter what he was writing on. I can't hope to reach that level, but I'd like to create something that gives a fraction of that same feeling.

So, with that in mind I make this pledge: In 2012, I will write one "good blog" per month. For these I will do at least one rough draft. If I have difficulty thinking of a topic, maybe we can do another blog event? Something to consider.

Final Pledge: More Topical, Culturally Relevant Humor. Less Abstract Kookiness.

Isn't that right, Cactus Chef Playing We Didn't Start The Fire On The Flute?

That's it folks. Thanks to John and Matt for being the only people to read this, and for their constant input to "Our Conversation". That reminds me, can we change Our Conversation to "Our Thing"? Because, in Italian it's "Cosa Nostra". Which is both cool, and neat.

Here's to a terrific 2012 and more heated debate.

NOW VOLK RISE UP AND STORM BREAK LOOSE!

"The cheers of the crowd, and discharge of firearms is almost deafening as the Emperor leaves the dais! Truly an awe inspiring, if characteristically cryptic, speech. Wouldn't you agree, Ted?"

"Absolutely, one can never totally comprehend the -"

"Oh, gotta cut you off there, Ted. I'm receiving word that the Guard Captain has returned with the head! Yes, we can see it there. Oh, wait. His Grace is dipping the head in signal. Once. Twice. Three times - the signal for a fete! A FETE! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? The granaries are opened, and DOWN ROLLS THE HEAD! Rolling down the Stairs of Mourning!"

"Absolutely stunning! A wave of ravenous, barefooted children is dispersing onto the city streets as the fete commences! Tonight, we eat! And I don't know about you Dan, but I'm not sticking around for the post-speech analysis..."