A classical example of this idea (and the origin of the expression "sour grapes") is expressed in the fable The Fox and the Grapes by Aesop (ca. 620–564 BCE). In the story, a fox sees some high-hanging grapes and wishes to eat them. When the fox is unable to think of a way to reach them, he surmises that the grapes are probably not worth eating, as they must not be ripe or that they are sour. This example follows a pattern: one desires something, finds it unattainable, and reduces one's dissonance by criticizing it. - Wikipedia, Cognitive DissonanceWhat's really interesting to me is regarding the role that self-concept plays in dissonance. Meaning one's sense of identity, or one's ego. We all see ourselves as basically good, obviously. We see ourselves as smart, capable and morally decent. These prejudices about our own inherently good nature are occasionally tested by reality. We find ourselves in situations where we freely make bad decisions, or find ourselves incapable of achieving goals that we presuppose are attainable. Reality creeps in and challenges our most basic assumptions about ourselves. In a such a conflict, something has to bend. Either we bend ourselves to accommodate new facts, or we bend the facts to accommodate our ego.
Neat. Anyway, where am I going with this?
Well, I've had a notion for quite a while that I haven't really been able to define, having to do with the proper, human way of thinking. Shortly before I started college, I had something of a brief, accidental out-of-body experience, while trying to get to sleep. For just a moment, I could see myself as if from the ceiling looking down. And I was free to judge myself, both physically and mentally, with all my emotional baggage, insecurities and teenage defensiveness. And it didn't bother me to do so, I felt no dissonance - again, just for a moment. I had a split second of total objective observation of myself.
It wasn't anything grandiose or spiritual, but it was useful and I believe that it had something to do with how I developed afterward. After that, especially during college, I became a lot more honest with myself about what I wanted, and why. It didn't feel self-deprecating at all, because these things that I criticised about myself (even my baser tendencies) weren't really at the core of my identity anymore. My mind had shifted in some way, and I wasn't exclusively centered in the part of me that held desire or judgements. Part of me was now centered in the part of me that objectively analyzes, and that allowed me to analyze myself from inside and out. I didn't need to justify or prove personal values or appetities, they simply were what they were. I could judge them, and reorient myself if I wanted to, but either way it didn't threaten my sense of identity.
In some way, I think this ties into the theory of cognitive dissonance. This is a weapon for fighting crimethink. What I want is to fully understand it so I can spread this special kind of perspective that I found. I don't think it has to do with eliminating dissonance completely. And I'm aware that the experience that I had may have just been the late onset of some child-to-adult development that everyone goes through. But I can think of at least a handful (more like dozens) of individuals I've run across that have their identity riding on things in their external life (I'm thinking of the line in Fight Club about "That wasn't just a bunch of stuff in my apartment, that was me" and "You're not the car you drive, you're not your job, you're not your fucking khakis"). This seems like a useful area of inquiry. What do you guys think?